Head-to-Head: Turkey VS. Ham

Now We’re Cookin’…




Emily Bloomfield

Viewpoints Editor



With election season coming to a close, out walks one life altering decision and in trots another. Basically, your whole well being of family and friends ride on you making this choice on your Thanksgiving day.

Since the dawn of the United States, Americans have been living their lives through the importance of dates and rituals. The fast-paced and ever changing lifestyle many people are used to living today often leads to well appreciated familiarities and welcomed traditions.

The day originally commemorated by pilgrims and Native Americans celebrating a harvest, now widely known as the day of thanks, is being wronged by some “Americans” for failing to acknowledge tradition. These said Americans are betraying the country by breaking this unwritten (but totally enforced law) and serving ham to their family and friends. How do you think they will feel about your unpatriotic ways?

Turkeys, being the unofficial mascot of this holiday, are the ONLY piece of meat that should be allowed on your Thanksgiving table. With everyone’s lives being so chaotic and different from one another’s, your guests will find comfort and immediately release a sigh of relief when they see this familiar meat on your table.

Referred to as “turkey day” widely around the country, it would be downright wrong to celebrate any other way. It’s no secret that turkeys are acquainted to hiding during this season so let’s do them a favor and allow this behavior to continue.

Not only would serving other meats besides turkey be completely
absurd, but your guests will savor this taste much more than they would the taste of ham. No matter how differently one prepares his or her turkey
dinner, whether it be smoked, deep fried, or roasted, the taste cannot be beaten by another, especially not ham, which more often than not comes out dry.

With Thanksgiving being the kickoff to a whole holiday season full of traditions and good food, it should be rightfully celebrated with none other than turkey on your plate.

America is the land of the free and therefore grants Americans chances to make their own decisions; however this Thanksgiving holiday, there is only one answer: Turkey.




Kathryn Gallenstein

Sports Editor



It seems I have on record here that pop star Beyoncé Knowles, and actor Morgan Freeman, prefer ham to turkey. If that does not convince you that it is the greater of the two meats, I don’t know what will, but I will try.

Three hundred eighteen million pounds of ham are purchased around the holidays. If you are someone who has taken part in the great consumption of this succulent protein, you know that every pound is worth it. Ham is a feel good food. Ham is undeniably able to change your outlook on life to optimistically positive in a matter of one bite. Ham restores all faith that there is good in the world. If we as a country are going to prevail we must recognize the truth knocking at our doors that ham is superior to turkey.

The average roasted turkey, skin and all, is 7.39 grams of fat. The average roasted and cured ham? 3.13 grams of fat. It’s inevitably clear that the hams in the world are looking out for the health of the human race. For that, ham, we say thank you. You have saved our lives and we are eternally grateful. If I have not convinced you by now to at least be curious of the wonders ham can do for you, let’s talk science.

Ham has more sodium than turkey. Researchers have found that sodium is a switch for a major neurotransmitter receptor. The receptor, kainite, is fundamental for normal brain function. The sodium stimulate is a much better choice than that similar stimulation from cigarettes or other drugs.

My fellow people, ham can help you. The benefits of the savory, salty, delicious being of country ham honestly and genuinely better your brain function and deter the use of other stimulates. Ham can improve you. Ham can save you.

Technically speaking, through my experience with turkey, it often turns out dry. Smothering your meat in fattening gravy is no way to enjoy your holiday dinner. Choose ham, however, and your taste buds will be watering enough for that salty stimulant that there’s no way it could seem dry.

I’ve never experienced dry ham; for I believe ham wouldn’t forsake us that way and is dedicated to our enjoyment and well-being. And finally, to make a timely decision this upcoming holiday season, choose ham. It takes anywhere from three to six hours to prepare a turkey, and even then it has the potential to come out dry. A country ham, however, once cured, is simply cut and serve.

Treat your taste buds to one of the most simplistic, honest, feel good foods out there. Break the tradition of dull turkey that needs ten types of stuffing and six ladles of gravy to suffice. Go for the greater good. Be resilient. Invest in your well-being: Embrace ham.