Ugh. What a square.

The implications of this phrase are not ones of excitement nor those stated when one is impressed with another. Rather, this expression is used as a description for one who is dull, boring, or lame.

Four equal sides, Four equal angles, and only one possible type. Squares are the perfect example of ordinary.

Variation is the backbone of each shape. The best regulations are those which allow enough wiggle room for creativity to plant itself, while preserving the integrity of the original.

Imagine something truly beautiful: three sides, 180 degrees, and infinite possibilities. Triangles have an option for everyone: equilateral for the perfectionist, scalene for the chaotic, and isosceles for the skeptic. 

Each triangle fits into one of these three categories, yet the regulations are loose enough that this polygon can be manipulated to fit one’s own needs, likings, and purpose. 

One of the most important purposes is within the field of architecture.

 “Triangles are the strongest shape,” geometry connoisseur Nick Hounshell exclaims. “It’s a known fact.” And fact it is. 

Due to the way its three sides work together, a triangle is an inherently rigid shape. Under pressure, the top side of a square can easily shift to a side, rotating all four of its angles and transforming itself into a rhombus. 

This is why the three sides and angles of a triangle are pivotal to its performance. It’s entire structure hinges on each side being unable to move from the other two. This makes it very sound and dependable for whatever task it takes on. 

One of the most well-known of these tasks is serving as finger food. Without the triangle, America would be at quite a loss with one of its most popular concession stand snacks: nachos. 

There are three words frequently used to describe square chips: Triscuit, Cheez-It, and pathetic. Triangular chips provide one corner as a handle, with a flat side on the opposite end to use as the scoop. 

Not to mention, one less side means one less corner that’s going to break off inside the bag.

When it comes to snacks, parallelogrammical simply will not suffice. I crave the equilateral crunch. 

My best advice to give: if it doesn’t have a hypotenuse, drop it at the spot.